I am finally telling the story…
Growing up I only had my mother: my father died when I was 12 months old, my brother when I was six, and my sister left for college then as well. When I was 26, my mother was finally diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic. This gave me something to hold onto. I did research and tried to understand what it all meant. Unfortunately, the medicine she took—occasionally at first and then regularly with supervision—only served to deaden her but did not stop the torturing aspects of the disease.
As I am finally allowing myself to be freed from the burden of being there for my mother, I have deep anger, hurt and sadness not only for myself, but also for each child who has grown up with schizophrenia as a parent.
Sharing snippets of my story has given me a voice, which I have not had before. Like many others, we listened rather than shared about family functions or how our days and weekends were. So few people understand, making it seem even harder to be seen or heard or much less acknowledged. This small attempt to open up the dark spaces hopefully starts a conversation, where we can all feel less alone.
Inside Out: Meet Mama Schizophrenia, a poetic memoir, can be purchased at Amazon and local bookstores.
About the Author
Ann currently resides on the Gulf Coast of Florida with her water-loving cat Tigger and her bouncing yoga pup Ellie.
Her experiences have included traveling, living abroad and having about 40 different jobs. No matter how much she has traveled, she has always returned to the place she calls home—a small beach town on the Gulf of Mexico, where she catches sunsets and trusts the world is bigger than it looks.
She is incredibly thankful for all those in her life past, present and future.